~Fence~

I have some conflict with my metamours, both partners of Special Man Friend. I understand that I am the common denominator, and that I am responsible for me and for my lack of conflict resolution skills. But I am feeling pretty solitary right now. It’s hard to know what to do; what action to take.

~Hearts~

We ate steak, at 4:15 in the afternoon, two days before Valentine’s Day. When you’re polyamorous, you have to be flexible; creative.  It only bothers me on Christmas, this holiday flexibility, but even then, not as much as in the beginning of my experience with polyamory.  I gave him a stack of books, individually wrapped,

~Progression~

Montana is great.  She really is. The other night my two youngest were hanging out in my room before they went to bed, and out of the blue, Georgia says, “Is SMF dating anyone else besides you and CC?” It’s been four years, and while there have been other partners here and there, none have

~Me~

I have a job interview in the morning. Hospice. It’s a completely new area for me.  I’ve been in labor and delivery for almost nine years, and the idea of doing something new is terrifying and exciting.  I don’t know if this is something that will work for me, but I am happy to have something

~Early~

It’s six in the morning. I can’t sleep.  Special Man Friend is asleep upstairs, in my bed.  I feel so far away from him, but I can’t tell him that.  He’s got his own demons, and he’s holding them very close to the vest.  (What an interesting phrase that is…) I don’t know what to

~Another~

I’m going out on a First Date on Saturday. Maybe. I get the distinct impression that this guy expects (anticipates?) first date sex. He seems nice.  He’s smart (I think), sort of funny (hard to say), super enthusiastic (like a lab puppy that I’m not quite sure I have the energy for). He’s older, educated,

~Flight~

Wendover, Nevada. Oh my goodness: A thirty eight minute flight on a plane which was filled with excited and chatty senior citizens.  Special Man Friend found a dirt cheap weekend package, and apparently it’s very popular with the over 65 crowd.  It’s been a good giggle. (I know I’m no spring chicken.  But come on!

~Onward~

Sometimes a really horrible thing can quickly shift your focus.  Reorder your priorities.  Give you some clarity. I’ve applied for a new job with a local hospice.  I’ve made some peace with Mrs. A.  I’m determined to love my people and let myself be loved. I’m also not sleeping well.  I dream all night, every night,

~Easy~

Thanksgiving was wonderful.  There’s no other word for it. It felt happy and comfortable.  My house was full, the food was delicious, and my kids didn’t embarrass me. After years of parenting, I figure if my children know this one rule, it covers most behavior:  Don’t embarrass me.  Fortunately, they can all quote this rule

~Meh~

I have three or four drafts working for blog posts. Some deep thinking kind of stuff.  But it’s not coming together.  I want to write, but I can’t find my words. In the morning I start my prep day for Thanksgiving.  I can’t wait.  I’m excited to have a house full of people.  I’m excited